The Oman Daily Observer – December 1st 2013 –

http://main.omanobserver.om/?p=34895

Please Note – Posted Also At: –

My New Website – www.majidwrite.com

And also at – www.majidall.com

For Sunday – December 1st 2013.

Images – Domestic Violence – For Demonstration Purposes Only!

Between Us Only!

What Women Do Not Say! 

Domestic Violence!

• Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent! – Isaac Asimov
• Never let a man put his hands on you without your permission! – Melda Beatty 

In my role as a Human Resources Professional – I have met many cases of victims of domestic violence – to an extent that if I were planning for a 11th book to be authored by me in this my line of books – it could be a topic by itself! Though frankly speaking my last book – Wipe My Tears! – has many articles of battered wives and on domestic violence. Even the front cover has a photo of a very pretty girl – but still yet crying!

www.myownmajid.com

The most tragic and sad part out of it all trying to justify why she had become the victim – for example he lost his job – his business is not doing well – or other such things! Yet still she will pretend that she is wearing the big sunglasses because ‘she banged her face on a car door’ etc – but does not want to show her scaled and wounded face – and body by heavy clothing!

People always ask me ‘why you do not drink?’ – is it because of the Religion? And I always strive to answer not to offend anyone from both camps – those who do – to be social! – and those who do not! The last group do not want to sit with anyone who drinks – but for I – there are no issues to sit with those that do – whilst I drink my own poison of sodas – or if possible fresh juices! That is until the abusive jokes start to fly – and I quit gracefully – before things get any more out of place and control in insults and affronts!

Images – Domestic Violence – For Demonstration Purposes Only!

The real reason I do not drink ever in my life is as a young boy getting this beating of my life from a relative who was so drunk and out of his mind – very abusive and aggressive after a few drinks – that he mistakenly thought I was his son – because we were playing together in football! His wives used to run away from home as soon as the call went out that he was now returning home from the bars!

Like we Arabs like to say – from the stomach of evil came good tidings – or the silver lining in the storm clouds! I made a vow to myself that I will never ever drink in my life – promotion or not – or asked to leave the company in my new job – because it started with my refusing to hold up in cheers a glass of wine – though I was ready to do so – if my favourite Sprite soda was in the glass – thus going half-way up to be modern and social!

Far later in my career life in HR – I came to realise which female staff to avoid for the day who came to the office as victim. Being victim did not necessarily mean being beaten and battered – but some husbands and fathers were equally good in using cruel hurting painful words as their tools – instead of the hands. The mouth was equally hurtful – if not more in some cases! But what if it is the husband – with the children – instead are the victims? Points to ponder in real life!

Images – Domestic Violence – For Demonstration Purposes Only!

A few days back I watched this television melodrama – Soapbox Mexico – Vicky’s Story.  Emotions run high as a sexually abused woman who freed herself thanks to the soap opera has her story turned into an episode. Planning a special programme for the upcoming 13 anniversary of the soap, executive producer Alicia asks scriptwriter Araceli to find a case of a woman who has suffered abuse, and recovered, thanks to the programme’s message. Vicky comes forward, and Araceli adapts her story for the programme. In a deeply emotional demonstration of the back-and-forth between reality and fiction,

Vicky’s real story is played out on set. Her years of sexual abuse at the hands of a violent husband form the central theme of the episode and arguably reflect real life in Mexico where two out of every three women suffer abuse. Vicky saved herself because she called a helpline advertised at the end of What Women Don’t Say. The theme of speaking out and of breaking silence is very clearly and powerfully real ised, as Vicky makes an emotional visit to the set to watch the last scenes of her story being filmed. Another famous series is the Turkish one titled Kismet produced from Turkish women writers’ contributions from real life true stories and incidents.

Yet another series that I really liked to watch is Desperate Housewives! It is an American television comedy-drama-mystery series. The show followed the lives of a group of women as seen through the eyes of a dead neighbour who committed suicide in the very first episode. The storyline covers thirteen years of the women’s lives over eight seasons, set between the years 2004–2008, and later 2013–2017 (the story arc included a 5 year passage of time). They worked through domestic struggles and family life, while facing the secrets, crimes and mysteries hidden behind the doors of their — at the surface — beautiful and seemingly perfect suburban neighborhood.

As a Writer, Author and Columnist – I get many emails from my lady fans about their family issues – and many border actual physical abuse – let alone of verbal words – which are more common. There is a famous East Africa expression that goes like this – The real man comes out when he (suddenly!) becomes rich – and the woman when her husband has become poor, needy and dispossessed!

Some of the cases are so unbelievable – that the other day in a social occasion a prominent and famous person was asking me why I was looking intensely and staring at him – in slipping up in my thoughts! It is really shocking some of the cases – but as I had pledged confidence – sorry I am not telling – at least for now!

Some More Sayings –

• There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds! – Laurel Hamilton
• One thing that you cannot hide is when you are crippled inside! – John Lennon
• If anyone hits me, they can expect to be hit back, and harder. I never turn the other cheek, because in my experience that doesn’t work – Alice Bag

Take Care!

By  Majid Al Suleimany

November 27th 2013